Thursday, July 31, 2014

last everything

We've reached the point where everything we do is potentially the 'last ____ before Baby.' It's fun and scary at the same time.

We did this in November, ya know? We had our last date night, our last neighborhood walk sans stroller. Our last this, our last that. And wasn't. After a brief three-day stint as parents, it was back to life as usual- only with more tears and less hope. More childless grocery store runs, trips to church that didn't involve a stop by the nursery, and walks with only the dog for company. And it was like each (normally mundane and un-noteworthy in itself) thing hurt a little bit more just for remembering that the previous time was supposed to be the 'last.' So I swore that next time...which is now...I wouldn't celebrate the lasts. I wouldn't commemorate them at all, just in case. In an attempt to help my potential future self, the one that has suffered another failed or disrupted adoption...I don't know, it seemed like it could help. But now here I am, and here I am celebrating each last. It's like I don't learn.

Sometimes my heart's capacity for hope freaks me out. You should know better, heart. More hope=more hurt!! Calm down! But it doesn't listen, so I sit here full of hope and praying I don't regret it later.

It could happen anytime. Her 'official' due date is Monday, the 4th, but it's not a scheduled induction or c-section, so when she actually appears is anyone's guess. I find myself kind of thinking she might come on the 7th. That would be exactly 9 months after Ellison's birthday. Wouldn't that be awfully weird and poetic? Or something. Then again, I'm putting in a hard vote for earlier. Like now. We're ready, I'm up to my ears in nerves, and like...let's just get this show on the road. For better or for worse, I'm ready to know how this chapter of the story ends.

Last night was our (maybe) last tennis match. We've crossed several things off of my 'not done yet' list from Tuesday- like packing our own suitcases, reading some baby/parenting books (Baby Whisperer FTW!!!), sterilizing the bottles, and getting a shade/mirror for the car. 

Oh, I don't think I've shared this yet, but my current favorite interaction with strangers is happening with great frequency. It goes like this:

Store clerk/random visitor at work/stranger in store notices us buying baby things and/or talking about babies/maternity leave.

Stranger: Oh, do you have a baby??

Me: Not yet, but we're expecting one soon!

Stranger: Oh, how exciting! When?

Me: She is due August 4!

Stranger's jaw drops as they look at my not-exactly-flat, but definitely not nine-months-pregnant stomach. I beam as I feel skinnier than ever under their scrutiny. 

Stranger: ...ohhhhh...umm...congr...

Me: We're adopting.

Stranger, visibly relieved: OH! Well, that is awesome, congratulations!! That explains a lot!!

(we have a good laugh and I still feel really skinny)

People say a lot of uneducated and unintentionally hurtful things about adoption, too, but this one is hilarious to me and really never gets old. I will miss it. Although if things go well and I'm toting around a newborn in a week or two, I suspect I will still get to have some I-feel-skinny moments when people (who don't know that she is adopted) comment that I look GREAT for having a two week old baby! I think I will not bother to inform them that I didn't give birth to her and just take the compliment. ;)

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

ready or not

I feel like we're pretty ready for baby girl to make her appearance. Well...not ready-ready. But ready enough for the first few weeks. If and when we know she's ours forever, then we can move into Readiness Phase 2: The Long Term. And I have a plan for that. But right now I feel like we're ready to bring her home. Although not as ready as my mom is-- she already has her bags packed to go to the hospital. Somebody's a leeeettle excited about meeting her new grandbaby, I think!

Things That Are Ready:

-Baby's hospital bag is packed. And unpacked. And repacked. Mollyanne came over last night (for The Bachelorette finale, of course...but we started nearly an hour late due to important Baby Things!) and helped review everything in the bag and make sure we have what we need (and take out the 17 0-3 month outfits we probably won't need...). 

-Car seat is installed!

-House sitter has our key and is on call!

-Kitchen cabinets have been reorganized to accommodate the bottles, formula, sterilizer, warmer, drying racks, and 281048439 other baby things that apparently all need to be within arm's reach in the kitchen.

-Tiny clothes have been washed and are ready to wear!

-My nails and toes are properly painted. This may not seem critical, is to me, so we're adding it to the list.

-My temp at work is completely trained and ready to come in and take over at any time.

Things That Are NOT Ready Yet:

-Hospital bags for Matt and me. I guess we'll be naked and stinky. Whatever.

-No freezer meals made. It's a goal...but then again, there're always Mexican restaurants, so this one doesn't weigh too heavily on my heart.

-Haven't read any further in my stack of parenting/baby books. Oops.

-Need to majorly clean out the photo roll on my phone so that there is plenty of room for new pictures and videos.

-Re-wash and sterilize bottles. I mean, I did it back in November...but they've been collecting dust since then, so that needs to happen.

-Speaking of bottles, I think I only have about 5 (borrowed). I probably need to get more, lest I spend all of my waking moments washing them.

-Back seat mirror and window sunshades for the car. I was going to procrastinate this one and wait until a shower or something, but once I sat in the car and realized how little I can actually see back there (and how brightly and hotly the sun pours in through the window)...I think I'm going to want those straight off the bat.

-Make more laundry detergent. This isn't strictly for the baby, but needs to be done in general and will be much more obnoxious once we have better things to distract us. We make our detergent homemade and once we make it, it makes enough to, over two years, last time. So naturally it's running out right now. Of course! But also, we will have lots of cute baby laundry to do, so...yeah. This task needs to move way up high on the list.

Dangit. Now that I've written it all looks like I have way more to do than I'd thought. Grr. Oh well.

Let's close with a picture my mom texted me this morning. She was taking Carley on a walk this morning and they met a new friend...

Ummm...yes. I can't stop laughing at the thought of how adorable Carley must have been at this walk intrusion. And I can't figure out what the circumstances were!! Naturally, Mom just dropped this picture on me and then won't respond to follow up texts like "where ARE yall!?!??!" and "what happened??!"...moms. Since my parents live in a normal suburban neighborhood with basically no farm animals...I just can't imagine. But it's cute. Also, please note Carley's fabulous accessorizing. She insists on wearing that bracelet everywhere. She slays me with cuteness.

Happy Tuesday!!

Monday, July 28, 2014

sisters weekend

I just realized that my last post was post #900 on this here blog. Oops. It probably should have been something more monumental than whatever it was I rambled on about last...oh well. Maybe #1000 will be something special.

I had an awesome weekend in Augusta! My sister's baby shower was the main reason we went home, but the obvious fringe benefit was that we got to spend the whole weekend with her and the rest of my family (and the beloved niece Carley, of course!). It's been a long time since we've had any sort of 'sisters weekend,' so I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

The shower was beautiful and fabulous. And several sweet ladies even brought presents for ME!! I definitely didn't see that coming, so their thoughtfulness was an incredibly happy surprise.

I got my hair did.

This is how it looks when your hairdresser is your 31 weeks pregnant sister with swollen cankles and her current salon is your parents' den. I used it as an opportunity to cuddle with in utero Laney.

We did lots of shopping, lots of planning, lots of pedicures (well, one each), lots of educating our mom about what kinds of hair bows are acceptable and not acceptable, lots of lounging in the hot tub (with no heat, because duh), and it was absolutely awesome.

And then we got back home to Athens and discovered that our AC had quit working. Womp womp. Yes, that would be the same AC that we JUST BOUGHT in August of 2012, thanks for asking. Wouldn't you think that a $5,000 HVAC unit should last more than two years? Me too. So I'm not angry at all about that. We unpacked our bags, started some laundry, sweated to death, and repacked our bags to spend the night at Matt's parents' house. I have approximately zero interest in sleeping in an un-air conditioned house when it was still 94 degrees outside at 8 p.m. UGH. So anyway. Hopefully that is getting fixed today.

I haven't taken any pictures of my new hair yet, but it's shorter, redder, and super fun! 

Annnnd now I'm running late and I've got to go get my Monday work day started. Hope your week is off to a great (and air conditioned...) start!!

Friday, July 25, 2014

currently...libraries and babies ed.

It's been over a month since a Currently check-in, so...let's get to it.

Currently, I am... the Gabe Dixon Band station on Pandora. It's pretty solid.

Eating...nothing at the moment, but we made the Lentil Salad recipe from Skinnytaste to eat for our lunches this week (doubled the recipe, FYI, to make enough for 2 hungry people for four days) and it was awesome. It was one of those things that got better as the week went on, PLUS it was dirt cheap and healthy (also, if you happen to care, gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan). It'll be in the regular lunch rotation for sure now!

Drinking...nothing. But yesterday during lunch, we went to the library to pick up a book that I'd put a hold on (SIDE NOTE TANGENT: sometimes, like yesterday, the amazingness of libraries just overwhelms me. I go in. I get exactly what I want. And then I leave. AND IT IS FREE. I mean, blah blah blah taxes, I know it's not really free, but it FEELS free and it is SO AWESOME, GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!! I wanted to high five a librarian, but no one looked game for that, so I'm celebrating here with you instead). After the library, I decided I needed a chocolate milkshake from the Varsity to cool my parched throat. I'm training the temp who will take over my job while I'm on leave, which means I talk nonstop for 8 hours a day. It's hard on my poor throat. So I got a milkshake for medicinal purposes. I feel like medicinal milkshakes have no calories, right? Right.

Wearing...a pair of relatively fashionable and non-holey jeans I'd forgotten that I owned. Ha. So maybe the new dress code won't be as challenging as I'd imagined.

Feeling...happy that it's Friday, it's a bring-Lola-to-work day, and I get to see my sister and family in just a few hours!!

Straight chilling on the floor of my office.
Weather...muggy and hot. The polar vortex was great while it lasted, and now it's Georgia in July again. Oh well.

Wanting...this amazing bib that my sister just sent me a picture of:

I don't normally care for 'message' tees/bibs/onesies/bags/hats/anything, but I do care for this one. Annnnd then Sarah quickly followed up the original text by informing she'd just ordered it because her niece absolutely needs this, so...looks like we can put this one in the 'wish granted' category! Yay! Ha. last month, I'll stick with 'patience and wisdom.' At least this month you know what I'm talking about, though! ;)

Thinking...don't judge me, but I'm still kind of thinking about how awesome libraries are. I wonder who invented them? If it was a woman and her name isn't like...Helga or something...I would like to name our child after her. LIBRARIES ARE FREAKING AWESOME. the temp this week. Sure, all of the talking hurts my throat and gives me a headache, but it makes me feel a LOT better knowing that my job will be done well in my absence. And it makes me happy to think about how I'm training someone because soon I will have a baby and have way more important things to do than sit in my office all day. :) 

Geez. Between my excitement about the baby and my renewed awareness about the awesomeness of libraries, I'm just about to bounce off the walls today. Good luck having as great of a day as I am!!!