Tuesday, February 25, 2014

the truth about my purse

 Alright friends. You can quit your frantic calculating and psychological deductions. The "guess how many lip products are in my purse" contest is about to be over. So is all the mystery (haha) surrounding just which fascinating objects I choose to weigh down my shoulder with on a daily basis. 

Please note: if you're new here, please skip this post. I beg you. This is ridiculously vain and silly even for me and I'd hate for you to walk away thinking that I actually think people care about what's in my purse. Ha. Save yourself! Come back tomorrow, when I'm sure I'll have something much deeper and more important to ramble about. Or...probably not, but one can hope. 

I explained yesterday that I've seen people doing these 'what's in my bag' things on Instagram. It inspired me. That probably says something about me as a person, actually. But let's not delve into that too deeply, shall we?

Onto my purse!


I've been carrying this bag for pretty much the last year. I love it. It's a lot smaller than most of my other bags and so I tell myself that that means I'll carry less, therefore it will weigh less, therefore I won't exacerbate my neck and back pain. It's a nice theory, but as most people who have actually tried lifting my purse can attest-- it hasn't really worked out. I'm not sure how or why, but this purse still weighs like 50 pounds. (Not really, but I don't have a scale handy to come up with a more accurate figure) Since you're about to see that there really isn't all that much IN it, I can only assume that the leather is heavy. SCIENCE. You can't argue with that, folks.

I should also probably state that this is really a nearly best-case scenario today. I greatly cleaned out and pared down the contents of the purse before our trip to Texas a few weeks ago. There was probably at least 30% more crap (primarily gum wrappers and...lip products, yes.) before the Great Clean Out. 


An aerial view. It might look like a mess, but I promise things are really quite organized. I can locate anything I need within 10 seconds- blindfolded. Promise.

Here's a bird's-eye view of the whole shebang. See? This doesn't seem so bad. Don't worry, we'll go deeper now.

 

Some obvious purse non-negotiables: my Kindle, sunglasses, wallet, and a penny. Because I like to flaunt my wealth.


Two packs of gum (watermelon and original bubblegum flavor...a girl needs variety!) and some TicTacs that were in my stocking at Christmas. Obviously I don't really ever eat them, but...where else do you put TicTacs? Also some concealer (and its accompanying receipt) that I'm going to return at Ulta. I forgot to stop the other day, so...they're still traveling around with me. Also that's the corner of my planner. The papers inside are a) a copy of our 2014 budget...you never know when you'll need to reference it!!...and b) some concert tickets.


All of this stuff above goes in the big inside pocket of the purse. Pens (alright, seven is probably excessive. After the photo shoot, when I put stuff back into the purse, I moved three pens to my desk pen holder. Four should be sufficient for the bag.), a flash drive, a mini hairbrush (that's the purple circle thing), my inhaler, a comb, a few hair things, keys, and a few lip products: two Baby Lipses (hate that name AND the pluralization) and an eos balm. 


And my keys. 

So far so good, right?? Only three lip things?! I'm normal!!

Oh wait, no.

The little bag. Guess what that bag is?

My beloved LIP GLOSS BAG!!!!!!!!! Wanna see what's inside?


IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Really, this brings a tear to my eye. Is there anything more heartwarming than a lovely array of pinky-red products for your kisser? I think not. Sunsets and puppies be damned!

As you can probably tell, I like to buy my lip products in gift sets. That helps me avoid having to make hard in-store decisions about colors. JUST GET ALL THE COLORS!!! Problem solved. The nineteen lip products in my Lip Gloss Bag are those deemed most essential and most likely to be needed in the course of a day. Trust me, there are plenty more at home. Sometimes I change them out...like when I fall in love with a new product and get 20 of it, of course. Also in the Lip Gloss Bag: a few bandaids, some cough drops, foldable scissors, and a hair clip. Nothing but the health and beauty essentials! 


This one's a framer. Dang. And in case you're wondering what my current favorite lip product is, not shockingly I'm going to go with the tarte LipSurgence. I LOVE THEM.

So let's do the math, people. Nineteen lip products in the designated bag (isn't that smart of me? So they're not all floating around, losing their lids and painting my purse red...) plus three out in the General Purse Population means that there are currently 22 lip products in my purse. The winning guess goes to Amanda J (she guessed 23), which is not altogether surprising. I would give her a grand prize in the form of a lip product, but since I believe she only uses clear chapstick, I think this amazing prize would be lost on her. I'd hate to waste my money like that, so I think that instead I'll just buy myself a new lipgloss in her honor. The Amanda Joiner Honorary Lip Gloss. Everybody wins!!!

Thanks for playing along, friends. And also thanks to all the people who guessed I might only have like 4-8 products in my purse. It blesses me that you think I have that much self-control. Now yall can start planning your Purse Intervention or something. Have fun!

26 comments:

  1. Holy lip products, Batman!!!! The adorableness, <---maybe not a word, of those tarte LipSurgence makes me want to go buy them STAT! Or I could be the runner up, just because!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess if you're going to hoard something in your purse, lip products are not the worst thing. :) Once you get to 25 products, we might need to stage an intervention, though...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bahhh... this is hilariously awesome. And mesmerizing. I feel like I now need a post about why these tarte products are so awesome and worthy of nine spaces out of the 22 allotted. I'm feeling quite fashionable today too, as I actually share one whole product with you... eos lip balm. : )

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is it a sign of a problem if I saw the tarte set and wondered where I could buy my own?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry I've been absent lately, I haven't been ignoring you, I promise! (And that sounds like the beginning of a spam comment. Ha!)

    I think I would have guessed about fifteen lip products, so I still would have been under. And when do we get the tutorial on how, and when, all these products are used??? Unless that's a post I've missed in my absence... I'll catch up on my blog reading, and commenting, eventually.

    Also I carry eleven pens in my purse at all times so I'm not judging you on your purse pen collection :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I could spot a Pilot G-2 anywhere...best pen ever! I threaten my co-workers life and limb if I see them even think about trying to walk out of my office with one of my prized pens!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am dying! Do you need a lipgloss intervention?! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You had me right up until the very end! I was shocked! Now, maybe I should take a cue from your lip gloss bag because I CANNOT keep up with lip stuff! CANNOT!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow! I think you need to send this post to tarte LipSurgence to see if that new lip product can be on their dime :) Now I feel like I need to give it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't think I own that many lip products all together, counting all my tubes of Burts Bee's... which is like 10 because I lose them all the time. Once again, if only I could be as cool as you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DANG... I was WAY off! But then again, I'm more of a one gloss tube kinda gal. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am impressed at your organization! I have been waiting all morning to find out how many lip things were in your purse. Tells you how riveting my days are, no? In also vote you should buy yourself something, and since you have a return to make you'll have some extra Ulta moolah! Congrats Amanda!

    ReplyDelete
  13. ^please excuse my iphone commenting errors.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am truly amazed that, after paring down your collection, you still have 4 pens in your purse. I'm going to need a blog post from you defending your need for 4 pens! I have one and it rarely gets used!

    And congrats to my literal other half (as opposed to my figurative one, which would be Wade) for guessing the closest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Now if Wade had guessed correctly, that would have been amazing! I do believe that as she is literally your other half, you can call dibs on the prize! Especially since I'm rather curious if Amanda used Erika's visit to Texas to diligently search through and analyze said purse.

      Delete
    2. Yes! When they went to sleep (which was after I went to sleep), I crept into the guest room (ninja style) and rifled through that bad boy in anticipation of this contest. And good thing I did!

      Delete
  15. What a fun post! Obviously I'm partial to the purse, and mine holds about the same amount (of random junk, not lip products). The art of blogging has clearly been lost on me lately, but if you give us a hash tag, your Instagram friends could play along!

    ReplyDelete
  16. At first glance, I thought your PINES key chain said something else (I'll give you a moment to re-arrange the I and the E)...good gosh I gotta get my head out of the gutter!! BAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  17. I wasn't even close, but I was excited to see the EXTRA!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hahaha dang I was just 14 off :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. YESSSSSSS this is the greatest news I've gotten all day! I can't wait to see which lip product you pick in my honor! As a reward, I will graciously accept as many tubes of vanilla mint chapstick (Chapstick brand) as you would like to send. Thank you in advance.

    And, like Allison, I would like to know why you need so many pens in your purse… in case you go to a restaurant and split the check with multiple people and the stingy waitress doesn't let you use her pens?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love that purse! And one can never have enough lip gloss, I say make it an even 25 :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. As one lipstick gloss addict to another, thank you for this post. I have not tried the tarte lip glosses. Want to know what I'm googling next?

    ReplyDelete
  22. You crack me up. I love love love all that lip gloss! I want to do a post like this now. I have as many pens as you have lip gloss. LOL.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments almost as much as I love Mexican food. Seriously.